My thoughts and insights on the topic of lying and manipulation in children. It's important to understand that children are still learning and developing their sense of reality and social interactions, and may not fully understand the concepts of lying and manipulation. It's also important to build trust with our children and have open, honest relationships with them, while respecting their boundaries and desires. Instead of labeling their behavior as manipulative or dishonest, it's helpful to approach the situation with curiosity and understanding, and work together to build trust and healthy communication.
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What apps and youtube do you recommend for yoga and mindfulness?
I get asked this question quite a bit so I put my favorites in one list!
I teared up today when I watched my son walk into school. He looked back at me and waved and then proceeded confidently into the building.
In that moment, I was flooded with emotion. It was so unexpected.
After a year being with him as a homeschooled mom, I was more than ready for him to go to school. I had a lot of projects that I was excited to work on. I was moving into my own purpose as a work at home mom and playing and enriching his day was no longer high up on my list of priorities.
He was so motivated to see friends and play with new toys. He was proud of his school projects and it didn't take me much effort to get him ready and out the door to school. I had been pleasantly surprised and honestly had prepared myself for hard mornings. He wasn't having any hard mornings!
So, why am I having these strong feelings as I watch him independently leave ME?! I mean, I was a teacher for years and watched countless parents in this same struggle.
Suddenly, I'm watching my almost 5 year old just nonchalantly walking away. All the internal dialogue begins.
"He doesn't need me anymore."
"He shouldn't have to grow up so soon."
"I'm doing the wrong thing going back to work."
"Should I change his schedule so he's not gone so much."
The thing is...when I tapped into my heart, it really was that I just missed my baby!! I want this time to slow down and I want to enjoy time with him.
It was OK to miss him AND it's OK to be sad.
Now, here's what I can do in this moment of emotion to shift this internal dialogue. I still want him to go to school and I still want to work on my passion and purpose. We will spend some special time together. We love to hike and bike together.
It was time to plan a Mother/Son outing!!
None of this scenario was about my son. It was all about what I can do to tap into my heart and lead motherhood from a place of internal wisdom. I have to feel the longing to rise above it and find the joy in it.
It's that simple. Feel it all.
If you are needing someone to talk to you about conflicting emotions in motherhood, please book a free tea talk with me. In this chat, we can discuss if any of my coaching programs can help you navigate life's changes. You don't have to feel alone in any of it.
Grab the Free PDF 15 Ways to Build Self compassion here
Coming to the breath is a wonderful way for us to calm the nervous system and pop us back into the present moment. Use one of these for breath awareness, calming the nervous system, or energizing to stimulate the brain.
For Breath Awareness: Blow through a Straw
For Calm: Heart Breath
For Energy: Joy Breath
Family Yoga Club is available now!
Grab the Free PDF 15 Ways to Build Self compassion here
There's a fine line between scaring our kids and allowing them to build resiliency.
First, a story.
I took a group of kids from a nearby school on a mindful leaf hunt. At one point, I stopped to offer a silent walk. The task was given to take turns walking at a time spaced about 100 feet apart. I went first and employed a student leader to send the next. See, at this school, the kids are trusted and their leadership skills are developed.
It was a straight shot in the trail, but along a creek and surrounded with trees so there was little visibility. However, I could see the majority of the group as I looked back.
The kids were reminded to use our mindful senses of breathing, listening, and feeling the ground beneath them. I was promptly told that this is not a 'silent' walk, there are sounds all around. Well, geez, kids are amazing creatures!!
Well, as we reflected, I was taught some valuable lessons that day! Kids are not trusted enough AND we are building fear within them.
These are the things that they told me when asked about feelings that arose.
"I felt proud because I felt like an adult.""I felt scared because I'm not used to being alone.""I felt worried because other (younger) kids were left behind.""I felt happy to be walking in the woods."
Everyone's feelings were valid and we learned so much that day!
They are capable. They can do scary things.
Some things I learned this week about allowing our kids to work through fear.
1. If they are not given any opportunities to experience fear, they will not be able to experience growth.
We often shelter our children from situations that will cause them discomfort in some way. What if you gave them an age appropriate task and told them, "I trust that you can do this?"
Does this show them that you are scared? Does it show them that they are not trusted?
No, it gives them confidence.
As they go about the task, they feel capable. They feel proud. If they reach a stumble or a moment of self-doubt, they have your encouraging words, "I trust you." They start to trust themselves.
2. Processing strong emotions shows that it's ok to feel all the feels.
When a stumbling block arises or a fear arises, let's discuss that. Ask, "what did you feel as you finished your task?" Try not to judge or give your own projections. Just be a listening ear. It will amaze you at what kids come up with. End the conversation by seeing if they have a new strategy for dealing with the fear next time. Something that may help them face it head on.
Then....trust.
Your adult children will thank you!
Need some help with routines?
If you need help navigating your own fears, please hop on over to my Facebook group where we share stories of loss, fear, big changes, and big emotions.
Grab the Free PDF 15 Ways to Build Self compassion here
