First of all, let's get clear on the signs of burnout.
Are you experiencing these?
- Emotional exhaustion: Fatigue for caring too much for too long.
- Depersonalization: nothing left to give to anyone
- Decreased sense of accomplishment: an unconquerable sense of futility like nothing you do makes any difference
I find this statement from Atlas of the Heart so powerful, "There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed rather than risk feeling disappointed."
So, the question is...
Are you giving your children opportunities to fail without judgment, blame, and shame?
I recently picked up Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown and quickly realized that it's exactly the kind of book that I love! Getting to know emotions and human behavior so that I can know myself more and create space for my children to know themselves.
Let's talk about why I have to establish safety everywhere I go.
As a child of an alcoholic, life was uncertain, even a bit chaotic. Then, you throw in 5 kids and a mom that was just keeping her head above water and it's a recipe for childhood trauma.
I didn't know what to expect from my parent's behaviors and I didn't feel safe at times. That feeling carried into adulthood. I can be hyper vigilant at times and take a long time to trust people. As a child, I looked like a deer in the headlights trying to take it all in and I was labeled as very shy.
When I left for college, I knew I needed strategies to be able to accomplish my dreams and stay self regulated. I found my yoga practice and on my mat, I felt a sense of safety. I was excited to be able to bring my mat with me, carrying this feeling of certainty wherever I traveled.
Now, as a mom, I don't always have the option to roll out my mat. I've developed this feeling of safety within. It has taken years and years of practice and you know what, I'm still not perfect.
When I do feel threatened by my children's behavior and I forget to go inward to find my safety, I then have to send myself some loving kindness. After all, we are all a work in progress, right?
Watch this week's video here.
Develop your capacity to create safety in your parenting in the FB community Reactive to Relaxed: Self Care without the Mom Guilt
I was no longer living in the moment and in the things that I loved. I was resentful and angry because I hadn't been treating myself the way I wanted to be treated. It was time to make some changes.Read more...