I was that kid who once I knew what I wanted I was quick to make a decision and it was dear near impossible to get me to change my mind. Hell, I'm still like this... but I've had some growing up to do.
After all, now I have a husband and kids that I need to factor in to most decisions.
The other thing that I usually did as a child was figure out how to make that decision a reality on my own.
I was the oldest of 5 kids. My parents had twins when I was 8. Things had to change really fast. I adapted really quickly. I had to in order to keep the peace and survive in my family.
Often times, I was making decisions to take care of others around me rather than my own needs, desires, and emotions.
Fast forward to adulthood.
Now when I'm faced with a decision or a big change that I have to make or I want to make I've uncovered a layer underneath that I never got to experience as a child.
With this choice comes lots of indecision.
Lots of emotions.
Lots of second guessing.
Lots of places inside that feel unsafe with the uncertainty.
This is where my intention setting practice comes in. I remind myself that if this change that I'm considering is in my highest values, then the change is going to take time.
And, guess what?
I may actually need support. Or, at least to communicate this change to my husband!
I break up this change into manageable steps and make sure to intentionally check in with myself for accountability. Watch this video for more on this.
For each change, the time frame could be completely different. For example, when I quit coffee, I had to commit to switching my morning drink and it took 1 week. This change was relatively quick once I decided and committed. Still, I have to checkin with myself during the holidays or after traveling and buying fancy coffee drinks.
When I made my exercise routine, I had to map out what time of year I would do which type of exercise, how much, and what time of day. This change took longer and I have to check in with it each season to see what adjustments I need to make.
Now, I'm able to attend to my emotions each time doubt or insecurity creeps in. I comfort that younger self that didn't have choice.
Sometimes, mindfully choosing something different for a short period of time. I revisit my highest value in that area of my life. Then, I get back on track towards my change.
Wow, change can be a lot of work and it's not easy. And, boy, can it be so rewarding when we have choice!
I have a free 90 days to Joyful Living challenge with some short daily mindfulness practices to keep you accountable in my FB community. Jump in here.