Tapping into your core values as a family requires that you develop some deep self awareness. We have this ideal or fantasy of what our family will be or should be. Based on our own lack from growing up, we strive to fill in this gap.
For me, my mom desperately wanted to be with her kids and also understood that we needed more income. For years, I felt that same division inside. I like to work, but I love the ability to be fully present with my kids. After a series of traumatic events and chronic stress, my body had enough!
I bring this up because Day 4 in the Break THRU Boredom challenge is about getting grounded in your true self. When you have a family with lots of opinions and you value those opinions and you want to nurture children to live authentically, you often compromise your own needs. The question is are you setting healthy boundaries. My needs are not always clear to me until I sit in awareness or I work on some earthing practices.
For example, we’ve tried several dinner time routines as a way to identify what we truly value as a family.
My husband and I agree that we want a regular dinner time and to check in with our children. We value that time together, but our children do not always value the time in the same way. We set up the container and the routine and they bring whatever they bring that day. Sometimes it’s not so pleasant, but I work on not taking it personally or trying to manipulate them into ‘being respectful’ or ‘placating me.’
More often than not it’s very wonderful but on those days that aren’t, I ground into my energy and summon my self compassion. There will be a time in their life when they decide this is valuable or maybe not. I can’t force it!
So, in the Break THRU Boredom challenge, revisit your families core values and write some expectations. Involve everyone and bring an open mind. Ask yourself, ‘Am I setting this expectation based on present needs or a need in the future?”