According to researchers, up to 33% of Americans have a fear of failure.
Want to know why that is? I believe it stems from childhood. Take a moment to think back to how you were treated by caregivers such as parents or teachers when you failed or even made a mistake with something.
Most likely, you were blamed or shamed for not doing something right or living up to your full potential.
Or you put so much pressure on yourself to not make mistakes or fail at something that you became a perfectionist or avoided difficult situations in order to never deal with failure.
What if you could treat failure in your kids as a learning opportunity rather than as something that is wrong?
Here are 5 reasons why it's so important. Watch the video here.
1. Failure is valuable because it hurts.
As Brene Brown says in Atlas of the Heart, "Disappointment is unmet expectations. The more significant the expectations , the more significant the disappointment."
Failure gives your kids the opportunity to cope with those vulnerable emotions like disappointment and know that they can be OK!
2. Failure provides opportunity to make a choice.
You can give up and do something less challenging or you can find another way to go to reach the goal.
Quoting Albert Einstein, "Failure is success in progress."
3. Failure allows you to develop self compassion.
When you meet your child with open communication and curiosity questions, they develop the capacity to recognize the consequences of their actions rather than feel blame and shame.
4. Failure teaches value.
Your values change over time and so do your kids' values. Failing can show your kids to value all the right things for their individual success rather then do things that aren't really important to them.
For example, maybe they have really enjoyed piano for several years and then they come to their recital this year and haven't prepared fully because they have been working a lot on gymnastics skills. That may show them that piano is no longer as valuable to them as gymnastics and maybe a shift in values is happening.
5. Failure grows your capacity to deal with fear.
It becomes easier to take risks, to explore options, and to get out of your comfort zones.
I find this statement from Atlas of the Heart so powerful, "There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed rather than risk feeling disappointed."
So, the question is...
Are you giving your children opportunities to fail without judgment, blame, and shame?
It's starts with you mama!
Be the Change you Wish to See in your Kids.
I can support your journey. Find out ways to work with me.
Grab the Free PDF 15 Ways to Build Self compassion here
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