The first step to joy in marriage is setting aside Sacred Time. This is a special time where you and your partner can be alone, without worry or stress, and enjoy each other's company.
Here are some tips on how to make that happen:
1. Find out what you want.
One of the reasons couples often don't get what they want is because they're afraid to communicate their needs. When we feel scared, it's hard to be honest with ourselves, let alone another person. It's important that you learn how to communicate your wants and needs without fear or shame. You deserve love and understanding from your partner, and you should never have to settle for less than what you deserve.
But before any of this can happen, you need to realize that this is possible! You can ask for what you want in a way that feels good—and still get it! This isn't some pie-in-the-sky fantasy; it's reality!
It may seem like a daunting process at first but as long as both partners are willing and able (mentally) then there will be no obstacles in the way of achieving your sacred marriage!
2. Now that you're a couple, find out what this means to each of you.
If you’re newly married, or even if you’ve been together for some years, there are many things that can be learned about your spouse. You get to know their likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams, their habits and quirks. But there is also something else that should happen: we need to learn about each other's beliefs!
This doesn't mean learning about the specific doctrines of the various religions we grew up with. Rather it means learning about what matters most to us as human beings—what our core values are in this life (and beyond).
This may sound like a scary thing to do—like opening yourself up for judgment or criticism—but remember that this is an exercise designed for mutual growth not judgmentalism! It's meant to help both partners grow closer by giving them insight into who they really are at heart.
3. Be clear about what is important to each of you and have the other respect that.
The first step in creating sacred time is being clear about what is important to each of you and have the other respect that. Being clear about your own beliefs, values, opinions and needs will help you communicate them to your spouse in a loving way. This can be done by thinking about what makes you feel loved, appreciated or respected by your spouse.
It's important to be respectful of each other's opinions while still expressing yourself clearly without being disrespectful or hurtful. Your partner may disagree with yours at times but that doesn't mean they don't respect it!
The goal is for both partners to feel heard, understood and validated when presenting their view point on an issue (even if they don't agree with it).
4. Spend time together.
A strong marriage is built on a solid foundation of shared interests and mutual respect.
You need to be willing to spend time together in order for your relationship to grow stronger.
Be open-minded, as well as willing to compromise when necessary.
5. You can live happily ever after with a little hard work, compromise, and planning.
We all want to live happily ever after, and there are many ways you can do that. You can't expect your marriage to fix itself overnight; it's a commitment and you need to work at it. But with some hard work, compromise, and planning around sacred time in your marriage - only then will you be able to live happily ever after.
Everyone has different ideas about what a good marriage looks like, but pretty sure that your sacred time is a great place to start.
Watch my video to hear about some of my sacred beliefs about marraige.
Are you ready to devote some sacred time to your family values?