Let's talk about why I have to establish safety everywhere I go.
As a child of an alcoholic, life was uncertain, even a bit chaotic. Then, you throw in 5 kids and a mom that was just keeping her head above water and it's a recipe for childhood trauma.
I didn't know what to expect from my parent's behaviors and I didn't feel safe at times. That feeling carried into adulthood. I can be hyper vigilant at times and take a long time to trust people. As a child, I looked like a deer in the headlights trying to take it all in and I was labeled as very shy.
When I left for college, I knew I needed strategies to be able to accomplish my dreams and stay self regulated. I found my yoga practice and on my mat, I felt a sense of safety. I was excited to be able to bring my mat with me, carrying this feeling of certainty wherever I traveled.
Now, as a mom, I don't always have the option to roll out my mat. I've developed this feeling of safety within. It has taken years and years of practice and you know what, I'm still not perfect.
When I do feel threatened by my children's behavior and I forget to go inward to find my safety, I then have to send myself some loving kindness. After all, we are all a work in progress, right?